


watch me until all is clear

by GrayJedi11



Series: diner stories [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (he doesnt do a very good job), Alternate Universe - Diners, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depressed Logic | Logan Sanders, Diners, Food, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Logic | Logan Sanders, Suicide Attempt, be like virgil: give a depressed stranger a hug, emotions but hide them, idk i dont have much else to tag, its 3am in the fic and rn, logan be like, uhhh, virgil is good, wow this series just gets progressively angstier doesnt it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23696563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayJedi11/pseuds/GrayJedi11
Summary: logan's just attempted suicide. they meet a stranger willing to help.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: diner stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706428
Comments: 3
Kudos: 96





	watch me until all is clear

One particular early bird had decided to get breakfast at 4:30 in the morning (or perhaps they hadn't even gone to sleep, Virgil couldn't tell) but no one else would come at that time. No, the diner was far too poorly rated for that. 

Virgil had downtime to drink a milkshake while playing some game he impulsively downloaded. He wasn't doing very well. 

He jumped when his focus was interrupted by someone walking in the door. A broad, androgynous teen walked in with slow, solemn strides. Virgil set down his phone to attend to the customer.

"Black coffee," Virgil noticed the "they/them" pin, "please." Their voice was raspy, seemingly sore. 

Virgil made their coffee, studying them. They looked relaxed and almost sad from their body language, but their face showed no emotion. A scarf was wrapped around their neck, odd for the summer night. 

Rather than drinking their coffee, they stared into it as if it would magically be drunk. 

"I could always try again."

The teenager's gaze didn't divert from their mug.

"Sorry, what?"

This time they did look up, gazing with a blank gaze. 

"I could try again."

When Virgil continued to look confused, they simply offered a mumbled "unimportant."

After a few minutes of not sipping coffee and Virgil continuing to play his game, they spoke again.

"Funny how I have no one but a diner waiter to talk to. Seems no one else cares. Honestly silly to assume you would."

"Uh, are you okay?"

"Oh. Right. I probably sound like a crazy person. Perhaps I _should_ try again."

Virgil was getting progressively more worried the more the stranger spoke.

"Try… what?"

The teenager sighed, pulling off their scarf to reveal rope burns.

"Try that."

"Holy shit, I can get something to-"

"No point. I'll probably only try again. Like I just did from last month." They pulled up a sleeve slightly so Virgil could see the deep cuts they'd made. 

"Are you sure, you really look like you need to go to the hospital-"

"I'm _not_ going to the hospital."

Their voice was sharp, and Virgil dared not challenge it. The stranger spoke again first. 

"Guess that's why you don't keep a blade in your pocket. Sure, you can cut whenever you want, but you can also cut yourself down. Dumbass."

"You're not a dumbass, choosing to live isn't being dumb. And- please don't try again."

"I chose to live a hell."

"I know where you're coming from. It got better for me."

"Well guess what, idiot, it hasn't gotten better in _eight years!"_

They looked frustrated, but Virgil doubted any of it was actually at him. 

"I'm sorry. I don't even know you. I should just leave and try again. Maybe a bridge this time."

They attempted to leave a few dollars on the counter for the undrinken coffee before Virgil jumped over the counter and grabbed them by the wrist.

"You're not going anywhere. You walked in here and told me you just attempted suicide and will again, there's no way in hell I'm letting you leave."

They groaned to the best of their ability, attempting to break Virgil's strong grasp. They failed. He was suddenly thankful for that seemingly useless ability.

Virgil dragged them to the back room and locked the door. Thank god it locked both ways. He sat them down at the table in the middle, facing them as if he was interrogating them. 

"Virgil. Who are you?"

"Someone who wants you to unlock the door and stop kidnapping me."

"I'm not letting you die. What's your name?"

They sighed but answered. 

"Logan. Are you happy?"

"So, Logan, what made you decide to attempt suicide tonight?"

"This _morning_ , it's 4:37. And I'm fucking depressed, that's why."

"Anything specific?"

"Some bitch told me he didn't like the sound of my breathing, so I should stop. Decided I would."

"In my opinion, I think spite's the better option."

"Yeah, but it's not like he _expects_ me to die."

"But that just makes it a really nasty guilt trip. Do you want that for him? If not for the million other reasons, isn't it worth staying alive so someone doesn't have your _death_ on their conscience?"

"I-"

"I don't mean to make you feel like wanting to kill yourself because of that is wrong. It's valid to want to die, even if you shouldn't. I'm just saying, there's more reasons you should live than you think."

"I shouldn't live. I'm useless at this point. I can't and never will do anything right."

"You saved yourself."

"Wh-"

"I'd count that as a 'doing things right' kind of thing. I barely know you and still I'm so glad you're alive."

"But it was still a failed attempt at something."

"You chose to fail. You chose to fail like choosing to fail at murder or theft. And not capitalism theft, theft from another human who needs it."

"What if I failed to kill someone horrible, though?"

"They still don't deserve to be murdered. Anyway, you're already supporting the LGBTQ+ community by being in it. Automatically gives you points in the 'good' department."

"What if I just wanna stop suffering?"

"You have other options."

They rubbed their forehead, looking away from Virgil. They fidgeted with their fingers, clearly uncomfortable.

"I- it's never felt like that."

"Maybe it can. Have you ever gone to therapy?"

"My parents think it's a waste of money. Doubt it'd, really help anyway."

"I know-"

"I don't want to go!"

Their voice rang out like a child’s, making them visibly uncomfortable.

Throughout Virgil’s conversation with Logan, they'd been stoic and annoyed, but it seemed their shell was breaking. Tears threatened to escape their eyes and their hands shook. Their breathing got heavy and labored.

"I don't want to… go," they repeated, but this time it wasn't about therapy. 

"It won't always be that way, see?"

Logan simply wept. 

It was a good deal of time before Logan's crying had been reduced to one or two tears still trickling down their face. They asked quietly for a hug, which Virgil gave them. They leaned into it, grateful for the physical support.

"Logan, do you think you can give me your phone number or email or just some way to contact you?"

"W-why would you need to talk to me?"

Virgil smiled softly. "Not for me, for you. If you feel like this again I don't want you to be alone."

Logan started crying again and buried their head into Virgil's hoodie. He guided them to the floor where they could both sit. Logan held onto Virgil tightly, arms around his middle and Virgil did the same. 

"Do you have a paper and pen?"

Virgil retrieved both from the barely used desk in the corner, breaking his grasp on Logan. They proceeded to scribble down a phone number in terrible handwriting (though he couldn't blame them for their shaky hands) and email. Virgil wrote down his and split it in half, trading papers. He gave them another tight hug. 

"Are you okay to go home now? If not, you can stay, don't feel pressured to leave."

"I think I'm okay."

"You sure? I want you to be safe."

"I will be, I promise. And if it does turn out otherwise, you have my number and I have yours. I'll be okay."

Virgil nodded and walked them out of the store, giving them money for the bus. As he watched them drive away, he smiled. 

They'll be okay tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> dont know if the repercussions of hanging are accurate, feel free to correct me if im wrong. also dont blame me if i dont know how doors work. maybe i do. i dont remember. i dont know. i dont care.


End file.
